How to Deal with Fishermen

Once a year from grades K-12, you went to the gymnasium and took your school picture. It was relatively painless. You got to miss some of English class, and you got to talk with your friends while you waited in line (assuming they were close to your height). The photographer told you to stupidly tilt your head to the side, there was a flash, and it was over.  Just like that. Who’d ever think that the pictures would create so many new fishermen?

About a month later, more time is taken away from your English class (not good for the illiterate trombonist in the back row) to pass out the pictures.

The fishing begins…

Girl: How did your picture turn out?

Fisher: Oh it’s just TERRIBLE.

Girl: It can’t be that bad. Let me see.

Fisher: No really, I look disgusting.

What could she possibly be playing at? Who says such horrible things about themselves? I like to call these people 

THE FISHERS OF COMPLIMENTS

The fishers of compliments refuse to show their school pictures until they have reached a point where they can’t possibly degrade themselves anymore.

The fishing continues…

 Girl:  Come on, pleeeeeease

Fisher: Seriously, it turns my stomach. I look like Tim Burton in a pink dress.

Girl: No way it’s that bad. Let me see.

Fisher: Wellllll If you insist…

This is it. The moment the fisher has been waiting for. She has been climbing to this point for about 5 minutes.

The fishing reaches a climax…

Fisher: Turns the picture around

Girl: OMIGOSH YOU LOOK SOOOO AMAZING. YOU ARE SO PRETTY. WHAT ON EARTH WERE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?!??!??!?!?!?!

Fisher: You really think I look good?

Girl: Absolutely gorgeous.

This is what the fisher had been building to all along. The end goal was someone fawning over her. This entire scenario will repeat throughout the entire day in each class unless someone puts a stop to it. Here's how I choose to end it...

Trombonist: How did your picture turn out?

Fisher: Terrible. It's horrendous. 

Trombonist: I bet it's not as bad as you say. Let me see it.

Fisher: Well, if you insist, but don't say I didn't warn you. It's bad. 

Turns picture around

Trombonist: MY GOODNESS! WHAT HAPPENED!? IS THAT REALLY YOU?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO YOURSELF?! You were so right. I wouldn't show that to too many people. 

OK, so maybe it's a little mean, but giving a fisher an unexpected reaction like that usually stops them from all of the excessive fishing. Don't worry. In time, the fisher will realize that they have been fishing for compliments all along, and they will thank you for pointing it out. 

-The Socially Awkward Trombone