Questions From Googlers

Blogspot gives me this really cool feature that shows me how many people read my blog each day. It also shows me the links that people click to arrive at my blog. It's amazing how many people type in trombone questions and somehow end up here. Unfortunately, we all know that this blog is probably no help with legitimate questions, so I have created this page for the Google searchers. Here are some of your unanswered questions exactly how you asked them.

"can you outgrow a trombone?"
Only if you suddenly decide to grow up.

"trombone what does T1 mean trombone"

I assume you saw this on a slide position chart. T1 in this case would mean first position with the F attachment trigger pushed down.

"trombone music for star wars with slide positioning"
66613124131241312146613124131241312146644124114244266441241344...that's the 1st 13 measures of the main theme.

"why did my son pick trombone?"

I hate to be the one to tell you this, but your son is socially awkward. 

"why does my trombone make a gargling sound"

You should probably try emptying the spit from your instrument. You know that little lever at the bottom of your slide? Yeah. It was not made for you to pinch your neighbor with.

"correct way to put down a trombone"

Well, if you don't have a trombone stand, just try to put it on the ground gently in a place it is not likely to be stepped on. Do not balance it on a chair. It WILL get knocked over. 

This question could be interpreted another way as well. I'm afraid the trombone is not living, so "putting it down" will be slightly difficult, but I know some people who use their old horns as baseball bats. You could also try shooting it...with a gun.
Edit: I put my trombone on a chair the other day about 10 minutes before my jury. It fell and broke. Maybe I should take my own advice. Thanks to Jim Peterson for the repairs. 

"how to get better at 16th notes trombone"

Honestly, just practice. Start slowly with a metronome, and gradually speed up. 16th notes also require a very steady airflow and you will have to make sure your tongue is consistently striking the same place behind the teeth. Your tongue should not stop the air, it should work more like a valve that is interrupting the air. 

"fun things to play on trombone"

As a young music student, I had the most fun when I was playing music that I liked to listen to. I can't tell you how many movie soundtrack books I own. Star Wars and LOTR and Harry Potter were always fun to play when I was in middle school. Now I like to practice more well known trombone literature, and orchestral excerpts from pieces that I enjoy listening to. Basically it comes down to the player and their tastes. Here are some pieces that I enjoy playing that aren't movie soundtracks.

Morceau Symphonique

Launy Grondahl trombone concerto

Ferdinand David trombone concerto

"how+to+say+hi+to+acquaintance"

I did a post about this. The socially awkward and unexpected meeting. Honestly, I still don't know.

"suitable age of trombonists"

It's not so much about age. It's more about the level of social awkwardness. Any age is suitable as long as you aren't socially inclined.

"trombone music for sixth graders"

How good is said sixth grader? Just pick something you like to listen to and want to attempt to play. You will have plenty of time for sophisticated music choices later in life.

"trombone for dummies"

Trombone IS for dummies. Therefore, there is no book with this title. Just play loud and glissy.

"trombone jokes"

Q:How can you tell that a kid on a playground is a trombonist's kid?
A:He can't swing and he complains about the slide.

Or just make a joke about fast food restaurants hiring.

"trombone i could make you care"
Um. That's nice. 

"WHAT YEAR WAS THE SONG SHORT PEOPLE GOT NO REASON TOOT"
WHY ARE YOU TYPING IN ALL CAPS?! DOES THIS SONG MAKE YOU ANGRY? I assume that you are referring to the the song "Short people" by Randy Newman. It was written in 1977. Also, short people have plenty of reasons to toot. 

"What does play the trombone mean?"
Your guess is as good as mine...

"Do trombonist make good salary?"
I just had a bag of Chex Mix for dinner. 

"how to meet someone for the first time without being socially awkward"
You have come to the wrong place. The really wrong place. I can't help you. 

"When did the trombone start looking like it does today?"
No exact date. You know what my least favorite word is? 
Sackbut. Sackbut. Sackbut. Sackbut.

"Are you socially awkward"
As the writer of this blog, I am afraid that I can't answer this question.

"does the yellow pbone trombone look orange?"

I'll let you know when I get one. 

"i can't afford a new trombone."
Join the club. We have picked a profession that does not even pay enough for us to afford the proper equipment. On a side note, why do bass trombones have to be so freaking expensive?

"Should I pour water down my trombone?"
Go for it. It's not going to hurt the instrument unless your trombone is made of suede of something. It makes for a great prank in marching band. Make sure that there isn't sugar in the water or anything that could be corrosive to an instrument. If you are trying to clean it, I would recommend mixing a little bit of vinegar in the water, or putting a bit of toothpaste on a cleaning snake. Use water to rinse the instrument out thoroughly.

"i don't like trombone"
That's a shame. You should probably stay away from this site. It's very trombone oriented, and because you don't like the instrument, you are probably socially acceptable. Ewh.

"i think becca clemens might be sociall awkward and a walking trombone with a blog"
Nice spelling there Lizzie Mcmizzie. You absolutely know the truth about me. 

"why are there first second third and fourth trombone"
To make you feel inadequate enough to practice harder or quit. this tactic doesn't exactly work with trombonists because most don't care at all. But for real, it's a part thing. A composer sometimes will want the trombones playing different things at the same time. It's all in the name of music. There's nothing wrong with being last chair. In fact, I have decided to spend the rest of my life in the last chair because it's more fun.

"rebecca clemens socially awkward trombone loves music and trombones and is blog so awkward help me i am her best friend what do i do"
You're asking Rebecca Clemens? You are such a dumb. It's not like I could help you.

"can nervous socially awkward people be cashiers"
If it is a dream of said nervous awkward person, then yes. Stupid question really. Of course the answer is yes. The real question is will this person be GOOD at being a cashier.

"Does gender matter on trombone?"
My trombone certainly does NOT have a gender. That's weird. It's a piece of metal. Does yours?

"what does it mean when my trombone spit is yellow"
Your trombone has yellow fever, and you have the plague. Sometimes it may be tuberculosis.

"Can you pour alcohol in your trombone?"
Generally, if you are a trombone player, this is unavoidable. Alcohol can also be good for cleaning.

"What does it mean if my trombone slide makes noise?"
Could be dented. Could need lubricant. Could have a lot of sand inside it.